Showing posts with label First Chapter Series. Show all posts
Showing posts with label First Chapter Series. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Labor Pains in the Birth of a Phenomenon -- And Why It Should Give You Hope

We recently concluded a series of posts analyzing what JK Rowling did "write" in her first chapter that launched her series to such high flights of success. However, I now want to take a stroll through the Dark Side.

Fans reading the Harry Potter series, even those deeply passionate about the books, will occasionally notice something that doesn't quite make sense to them. It seems JKR didn't plot her timeline with the pinpoint accuracy (er, obsession) as some of her fans, or indeed The Harry Potter Lexicon. And her memory wasn't perfect.  Londoners got confused when reading about Harry's passage through Platform 9 3/4 because when she wrote King's Cross station, she was actually envisioning the station at Euston.  Fans will squabble over details in the first chapter such as how the Potter home was destroyed when Avada Kedavra is not supposed to leave a mark, or why Dumbledore suggested that McGonagall refer to He-Who-Should-Not-Be-Named with his proper name of Voldemort rather than Tom Riddle. But, as writers, we know that these continuity errors are incredibly hard to keep track of within one book, let alone a series of seven massive tomes that have not all been written when the first are coming out.

As a writer, the "mistakes" I'm most interested in analyzing from JKR concern not her continuity errors, or even some of the larger picture elements, such as whether it makes sense for this band of young kids to get past a labyrinth of booby traps supposedly concocted by the most powerful wizards of the day. What I want to examine are JKR's techniques...especially those methods we've been told are taboo from the writing authorities.

In my recent examination of the First Chapter Series of Philosopher's/Sorcerer's Stone, I noticed quite a few techniques I've been taught not to indulge in. Let's face it, like her boy Harry, JK Rowling broke a couple, or more, rules:

1) Death to Prologues:

Yes, chapter one of book one is basically a prologue. "The Boy Who Lived" takes place ten years before the story and serves to establish setting and backstory. Prologue, right?

How many of us have heard from The Authorities not to write prologues, that editors and agents wince when they see them, and then usually skip them or reject on that point alone. And here is the phenomenal bestselling author starting out with one. I suspect very strongly that early on in The Boy Who Lived's life, this chapter one was named "Prologue," and that it got rechristened when some wise writing friend, agent, or editor alerted JKR to the mistake which she had made.

But, this prologue works. And it works for her because the reader needs this dip into the magical world and this hint of the mysteries to come before delving fully into the 11-year-old's life in the cupboard under the stairs.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Giving Voice to the Boy Who Lived

We hear a lot about Voice in the business of writing and how every editor is looking for fresh, new voices. It’s easy to get confused and think this means simply a sarcastic way of delivering our words, as is common in chick-lit, something hip or flippant as is often true in YA. Or maybe Voice is dark and angsty as in romantic suspense, paranormal, or gothic. But I believe this explanation only scratches the surface of Voice.

Voice goes much deeper than the style of how words are strung together on paper or screen. Voice reflects what you believe, what you know, what you understand, what you have experienced in life. It reflects where you choose to put enormous amounts of your time and energy.

You may be entertained by reading from a wide variety of books that take up a few hours of your day. But when it comes to spending several months of your life writing one, it’s going to reflect who YOU are deep inside. Your cares and concerns, your beliefs, and your passions. Your Voice is You. Voice reflects your writer’s soul. That’s why there’s such a strong spiritual aspect to writing for so many of us. We’re not only trying to make a living, or even better, communicate with our readers and our world. We’re expanding and enriching our souls. And that’s why Voice cannot be duplicated. No two souls are alike, and every soul has something unique to contribute.

Harry Potter did not spring out of just anywhere. He sprang out of JK Rowling's life. Her life-long concern for equality and justice are evident in the book from chapter 1 as the wizarding world celebrates the end of a reign of terror by the survival of a lowly babe. Her abhorrence of intolerance is threaded from the beginning with the Dursleys' disregard for Petunia's own sister and her fear of the influence her nephew could have on her son's life. Jo's belief in imagination and her disdain for the petty populate her world with giant wizards on flying motorbikes and long-neck women who spy on their neighbors. Her sense of whimsy and her delightful humor are reflected in a cat sitting on a corner reading a map and the unappreciated hug Mr. Dursley receives from an overly-enthusiastic wizard on the street.

In this first chapter, we also see the dark tone which JKR became more known for as the series progressed. But could you begin a children's story with anything darker than a child being orphaned having survived a murder attempt himself? She also laces her story with her love of mythological references by naming Sirius after the Star of Isis of ancient Egypt and marking Harry with the thunderbolt of Zeus -- a weapon he will only learn how to use at the end.

Voice is also affected by a writer's style: the strength of a writer's verbs, the accuracy of the adjectives and adverbs, the structure with which the author frames the story, the choice of perspective from the POV. Here are examples from "The Boy Who Lived" showing how JKR used each one of these to her advantage:

1) Strong Verbs -- Look at how JKR announces that Lily and James were killed:

Dumbledore bowed his head. Professor McGonagall gasped.

Two simple verbs, but used strongly and effectively to show action and reaction without ever saying the words, "They're dead." Also, take a look at Hagrid's departure:

Hagrid swung himself on to the motorbike and kicked the engine into life...

The highlighted verbs carry a precise punch. It would not have nearly the Voice if she'd said: Hagrid got onto the motorbike and turned the engine on.

2) Pinpointed Description -- The story starts on a "dull, grey Tuesday" in the Dursley home, and explodes into a riot of colors with Dumbledore's appearance:

He was tall, thin and very old, judging by the silver of his hair and beard, which were both long enough to tuck into his belt. He was wearing long robes, a purple cloak which swept the ground and high-heeled, buckled boots. His blue eyes were light, bright and sparkling behind half-moon spectacles and his nose was very long and crooked, as though it had been broken at least twice.

Don't you want to know how that long, crooked nose had been broken twice? And can't you see those half-moon spectacles and his sparkling eyes?  And I adore those "high-heeled, buckled boots"!

3) Structure -- From the Dursley home, to Vernon's work, to his questioning of Petunia regarding her sister, to the wizarding invasion of Privet Drive, JKR takes the reader from the mundane to the magical, all along threading through the build-up of the magical world and the mystery of what has set the wizarding world in collision with the Muggle. She leaves us with a most unusual babe left on a doorstep and the knowledge that he will not be welcomed.

4) POV -- This first chapter is different in POV than the rest of Harry Potter because Harry plays no active role in it. He's brought in as a sleeping babe only near the end. The main POV for this beginning chapter is omniscient narrator, though she gets into Vernon's head the most. That choice of omniscient allows her to present her beginning with a wide-angle world-view as she sets up building her fantastic new world.

In examining your own voice, ponder these questions:

  • What makes you unique?
  • What fires your passion, both for things you love and those you hate?
  • What do you believe in, care for the most?
  • Where do your wild flights of imagination take you to wander?
  • What experiences in life can you channel into your writing to create a more vibrant world?
  • In what type of story do you want to spend your next several months, if not years?
  • And whose hearts do you really want to touch?

I'd love to hear about your voice, though for some of you, it comes across strongly, even in your blog and Twitter feed -- as it should! Have any of you wandered through different types of stories in search of your true voice?

Check out the full series of posts in this First Chapter Series:

1) characterization
2) world building
3) mystery
4) stakes/conflict
5) backstory, and
6) voice - right here!

Friday, June 24, 2011

Who Really Cares About Harry?

Continuing in our First Chapter Series of posts on the beginning of Harry Potter, today we're talking about stakes.  Who really cares about what happens to this young boy? What's at stake for him in the coming story?  These are questions which must be answered from the beginning.  And they must be presented in such a way as to make your reader identify with and care about what happens to your main character.  Otherwise, why bother to continue?

JK Rowling, from the start, even without going into the POV of her hero, gives the reader three main reasons to care:
  1. He's an orphan, his parents killed by an evil wizard
  2. He's off to live with an aunt an uncle who certainly don't want him, but have also been shown to be snoopy, petty, and intolerant.  They are also the exact opposite of Harry's true family.
  3. What happens to Harry affects a large community around him.  We're shown this from the very beginning with the celebration of the wizarding world because of Harry's survival and Lord Voldemort's departure.
With these three set-ups, JKR gives us some heart-tugging backstory, hints of the upcoming conflict, and the wider view of how Harry's situation will greatly affect a larger community around him -- all components that will entice a reader to pluck down her time and money to invest in the upcoming story.

The heart of grabbing your reader's attention at the beginning of your story is to make them care.  And the catalyst that sparks care is what's at stake.  Something has to be at risk for your hero and his community or who really cares to read more?

Then, in order to increase the stakes, you must have a high level of conflict.  The two are simply inseparable.  If everyone is getting along in blissful utopia, there's nothing at risk and there's no tension.  Conflict is your hero's push to obtain a crucial item and the forces pushing back to keep him from obtaining it.  So this is how the flowchart works:

care <-- stakes <-- conflict

For the reader to care, there must be something urgent at stake to a sympathetic character, and this will be the result of significant conflict.  Or to reverse this for the writer: to make your reader care, you must start with emotionally true conflict that increases the stakes for your hero and those around him.

Friday, June 17, 2011

The Mystery of the Backstory


Continuing in our First Chapter Series of posts, I've decided to combine both mystery and backstory into one. The reason: in chapter one of Philosopher's/Sorcerer's Stone, the backstory IS the mystery.

Here's what JKR had to say herself about her first chapter, especially concerning the mystery and backstory:

There were many different versions of the first chapter of 'Philosopher's Stone' and the one I finally settled on is not the most popular thing I've ever written; lots of people have told me they found it hard work compared with the rest of the book. The trouble with that chapter was (as so often in a Harry Potter book) I had to give a lot of information yet conceal even more. There were various versions of scenes in which you actually saw Voldemort entering Godric's Hollow and killing the Potters and in early drafts of these, a Muggle betrayed their whereabouts. As the story evolved, however, and Pettigrew became the traitor, this horrible Muggle vanished. (from JKRowling.com)

In an earlier post, I talked about how the great agent Donald Maass says, "Backstory is called backstory because it belongs in the back of the story." In becoming experienced novelists, we must learn to control the urge to overload our beginning with the new writer syndrome of The TMI of Backstory. However, we must not leave our reader confused, therefore SOME backstory is absolutely required. What can we learn from JKR's example?

One, rewrite until you get it right. The importance of the first chapter cannot be overstated. And two, backstory is closely linked to your novel's mystery or story question. Readers are compelled to continue because they identify with the character and want to know what happens to her. This latter part of this equation, the mystery or story question, necessitates withholding information from your reader. If the reader knows all up front, there is no compelling urge to go forward.

But, you never want your reader to be hopelessly confused, nor do you want her to feel cheated when your final answers are revealed. You must play fair all along.

Let's see what JKR did and did not reveal in "The Boy Who Lived:"

Part of Backstory Set Forth:

  1. Voldemort killed Harry's parents
  2. Voldemort tried to kill Harry
  3. Voldemort was "gone"
  4. "Young" Sirius Black lent Hagrid a motorbike (but notice how subtly that was woven in, with just a short, one-sentence reference from Hagrid and nothing more said.  No reaction to draw attention to this sly reference that will be incredibly important two books down the line).

And that's it! That's all JKR reveals in this first chapter, which leaves the reader to wonder:

  1. Why would such a powerful and dark wizard want to kill a baby boy?
  2. How will that scar prove useful one day, as Dumbledore suggests?
  3. What are these dark powers which Voldemort possessed that Dumbledore was too noble to use (a detail nicely woven in through dialogue, I might add!)?
  4. Why does Mrs. Dursley not want to have anything to do with her sister?
  5. What did Dumbledore reveal in the letter he left with Harry?
  6. And why DID Harry survive?

First, notice how JKR drops in most of the backstory as conversation between McGonagall and Dumbledore. In fact that's the real reason for McGonagall's presence on that wall -- to question Dumbledore and thus interestingly inform the reader of all that has happened. Well, not all.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Creating a Diagonal World

Continuing in our First Chapter Series of posts, I now enter JKR's delightful and amazing portal to world building. Before Hagrid takes Harry to Diagon Alley, JKR shows the reader through this first chapter that the exciting, enchanting wizarding world is only diagonally separated from the Muggle. Here is a fantasy where reality and the imagined world co-exist, but are not mingled as one. The secret world, the shadow realm, is a place hidden away in enchanted castles, inner-city streets, and all-wizarding villages. Still, when momentous events occur, the colorful spells shoot like stars into the air, the messenger owls fly to and fro, and the odd and cloaked wizards hug unsuspecting and unappreciative Muggles on the city streets.

So, what techniques did JKR employ in this first chapter to gently introduce her reader to the full-blown wizarding world which awaited in the chapters to come?  We'll look at the following craft techniques:


  1. Introduce the Magic
  2. Stir the Cauldron
  3. Use References to Carry You Further Afield
  4. Name Your World
  5. Imbue with Meaning
(Please note: I have numerous posts on JKR's world building in this blog that cover far more details on how she creates her worlds overall. This post relates only to the first chapter.)

1) Introduce the Magic:

Whether to drop your reader full-force into your created world, or gently nudge them in that direction as JKR did, will depend on your genre, story and tone. While stories set in your readers' contemporary real world have less foreign elements to introduce, the writer must still uncover the unique details of the specific location her characters inhabit. On the exact opposite end of the world building pole, writers of entirely created fantasy realms have an entire arsenal of details to acquaint their reader with.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Characterization in The Boy Who Lived

In my prior post, Time-Turning Back Seven Books, I set out to analyze the first chapter of Philosopher's/Sorcerer's Stone to uncover any secrets which can be gleaned regarding the catalyst that started the Harry Potter series on its initial rise.

This series of posts will break apart this first chapter according to:

1) characterization
2) world building
3) mystery
4) stakes/conflict
5) backstory, and
6) voice

So, let's start the ball *rowling* with characterization!

For an overview -- this beginning chapter is constructed in such a way that the reader is first introduced to the slightly-exaggerated and repulsive Muggle family, the Dursleys. Although a couple of magical people or groups are sprinkled in through Mr. Dursley's work day, it is not until he turns the lights out at night that the three main wizarding characters step onto the scene -- McGonagall, Dumbledore, and Hagrid. By setting it up this way, JKR juxtaposes the characteristics of small-minded Muggles against the exciting wizards. And, as discussed in the first post of this series, by describing the Muggles with an intimate note of disdain, JKR prepares the young reader to identify strongly among the way cooler wizards.

(article continues below)


Of course, the primary ingredient for JKR's remarkable character development is her strong, vivid imagination.  She could not have conveyed the wizards and Muggles so vividly onto the page if she had not first imagined them in her head so vibrant in personality and so colorful in detail. But, as writers, we all know that it's one thing to see (and hear) people in your head, it's totally another to get them down clearly on paper in black and white so that your reader can magically tune into your vision as if expertly skilled in legilimancy. So, what specific techniques does JKR use to convey these characters?  Here's a few I've discovered:

  1. hooks
  2. weaving
  3. action tags
  4. words of others
  5. action and responses


1) Hooks:

I have a whole post on hooking your character, so I will only cover it briefly here. Hooks are an interesting detail that helps the reader visualize that character and distinguish him from others when first being introduced.


  • Mrs. Dursley -- long neck -- which hints at her snooping on neighbors, which also hints at her concern over keeping up appearances
  • Dumbledore -- sparkling eyes behind half-moon spectacles -- hints at his goodness of character and his wisdom
  • Hagrid -- giant size and emotional -- hints at his wild side and his good heart

Hooks are somewhat simple because they are most effective in the beginning, before the deeper character development has truly taken off.

2) Weaving:

Notice how references to the characters of the Dursleys are woven throughout here and there -- Mrs. Dursley spying on neighbors, then later, her fear of anyone learning about the Potters.  Mr. Dursley ignoring, in fact almost praising, Dudley's temper tantrum, then later his anger at the funny-dressed people. These examples of Mr. and Mrs. Dursley's character are woven in throughout the first half of this first chapter, with each example giving the reader a bit more understanding of who these people are.

When introducing a character to your reader, it is very tempting to tell the reader ALL from the first page. As writers, we've generally spent a very long time creating and getting to know these figments of our imagination, and we want our reader to love them as much as we do. So, we oftentimes flood our story with all we know as soon as possible. But, this tendency leads to telling rather than showing. As actions speak much louder than words, the reader will get to know your character much better as they see her in action. So, while some initial description is necessary by way of introduction, try to keep it to a minimum, and be as creative as possible with it. By far, the most effective way to let your reader and your characters get acquainted is by weaving in all those wonderful tidbits you've thought up naturally through the course of the story. And the most interesting techniques for weaving in character is through bits of action or dialogue.

3) Action Tags:

I don't know if there's another way of naming these things, but action tags are the brief narrative descriptions between dialogue that inform the reader as to who is talking now. Unlike the standard dialogue tags (he said, she whispered), an action tag shows action, but because of its location right before or after dialogue, also informs the reader that the person acting is also the person speaking.

Action tags are a great way to weave more action into your story as well as to develop character.

"My dear Professor, surely a sensible person like yourself can call him by his name? All of this 'You-Kow-Who' nonsense -- for eleven years I have been trying to persuade people to call him by his proper name: Voldemort." Professor McGonagall flinched, but Dumbledore, who was unsticking two lemond drops, seemed not to notice. (p. 11)

Word counts are decreasing. Now, more than ever, you want to get the most bang out of every word you choose. Optimize your tags by making them pull double (or triple) duty. Action tags that build character do this.

4) Words of Others:

If you post a review of your own novel, not many people are going to pay attention. But if someone else posts, readers will notice.

Likewise, readers will be much more interested in what characters have to say about each other rather than how the author chooses to describe her babies.

For JKR, McGonagall's role in this first chapter is largely to give voice to a lot of character description (as well as backstory) that otherwise could not be written as dialogue without her presence. Thus, McGonagall's interrogation of Dumbledore puts so much of the necessary narrative info into interesting dialogue.

Think of how much more effective it is to have McGonagall voice her reaction to Harry being left in the care of his aunt and uncle. Her disdain for this Muggle family immediately helps the reader to sympathise with Harry better than a narrative lay-down would have done. Plus, she verbalizes a great, active example of Dudley kicking his mother for sweets.

Before Hagrid roars onto the scene, the reader is given a heads-up through McGonagall concerning his character. First, he's late. Then, McGonagall's voices her dismay that Dumbledore trusted him with Harry's care. Dumbledore's assertion that he would trust Hagrid with his life lets the reader know Hagrid is a complex man viewed in a contrary manner by differing POVs. Thus, we are put on high alert for the appearance of the flying motorcycle and the giant, wild man himself, whose "feet in the leather boots were like baby dolphins." Really! I would never have thought to describe feet as dolphins!

Finally, this argument between McGonagall and Dumbledore about Hagrid's trustworthiness and Harry's placement with his aunt sets Dumbledore up as someone who thinks differently, more deeper, than the normal person. JKR did not have to TELL the reader any of this; she showed it through the words of McGonagall.


5) Action and Response:

This concept is very simple. How characters act and how they respond to the situations around them should contribute toward their character development. In other words, a character should always act and respond in character (unless so provoked that it forces them outside their comfort zone).

Mr. Dursley, when spying people on the street wearing robes, gets angry.  Mrs. Dursley sips her tea through pursed lips.  Dumbledore, in the midst of a very serious conversation, offers McGonagall a lemon drop.

In scenes with multiple characters, you can differentiate characters from each other and build their personalities by comparing and contrasting their actions and responses. For example:

McGonagall arrives on Privet Drive in the early morning as a cat. She sits on the Dursley gate all day, spying on them, waiting for Dumbledore's arrival.

Dumbledore arrives in the dark of night, appearing suddenly in a darkened corner. He uses a curious silver instrument to extinguish the lights, and instantly sees through McGonagall's disguise.

Hagrid arrives on top of a flying motorbike, cradling baby Harry in his arms.

Now, look near the end of the first chapter, after Dumbledore has left Harry on his aunt's doorstep and tucked the letter into his bundle of blankets:

For a full minute the three of them stood and looked at the little bundle; Hagrid's shoulders shook, Professor McGonagall blinked furiously, and the twinkling lights that usually shone from Dumbledore's eyes seemed to have gone out. p. 16

JKR uses one action to show us three varying responses from her characters, which help the reader understand their differing personalities.


This post is not meant to be a comprehensive listing of all the techniques JKR uses in this first chapter for character development, but it gets us started. What other techniques have you spotted?

** As a side note, look at the initial description of Dumbledore when he arrives on Privet Drive -- notice those "high-heeled, buckled boots." After JKR announced that she'd always thought of Dumbledore as gay, I often wondered if she truly had from the get-go. Why would she not have included it (upfront) in the story, I wondered. But these boots are a strong hint that maybe she really did. :-)

(Check Out JK Rowling's Newest Release -- Harry Potter and the Cursed Child here!)  

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Time-Turning Back Seven Books

Where did the magic begin? Is it possible to go back and look at the inception of Harry Potter to discover exactly what technique it was that, with a flick of her wand, made JKR's story rise so far above all those other magical fantasy stories which had come before? As writers, we are told that we either win or lose our audience within a few first pages. Can we look at JKR's first 17 (23 from Bloomsbury) and find that extra savory morsel that lured her readers in with such large numbers?

This post started out as a long analysis of chapter one of Philosopher's/Sorcerer's Stone as it is here that the world-wide publishing phenomenon began. That is not to say that the WHOLE reason for why Harry Potter achieved the heights that it did can be found here, but rather the seed. From this seed, as JKR enhanced her craft and deepened her tone, Harry's story sprouted roots and shot forth, encompassing an ever-widening audience, until it blossomed into the phenomenon that it still is today, even four years after the release of the last and final book.

However, in writing this post to cover the whole first chapter, I quickly discovered that there was way too much to say to burden one blog-sized post with. So, I have broken the analysis down into six upcoming parts:
  1. characterization
  2. world building
  3. mystery
  4. stakes/conflict
  5. backstory
  6. voice
Usually, when I give workshops or otherwise analyze the series, I say that I believe the key to JKR's success rests on the first three key qualities above:
  1. her quirky, fun, full-bodied cast of characters
  2. her fully developed, magical, I-so-want-to-live-there world building, and
  3. her trail-of-clues mysteries that engaged the reader and spanned all seven books
With Harry Potter, and in particular this first chapter, it is hard to decide which is greater -- the world building or the characterization. Both are freshly and genuinely developed and draw the reader into the story, but neither of them are at full-force in "The Boy Who Lived."